Note to Watchmen Fanboys: Zach Snyder’s Watchmen does not suck.

If you are going to give a Hugo Award-winning graphic novel over to a movie director, I cannot think of anyone better to hand it over to than Zach Snyder. Mr. Snyder did an awesome job with “300” and I expected nothing less with his treatment of “The Watchmen”.

The Watchmen

I love comics, but my love-affair with them has been peripheral to say the least. I collect very few comics, with most of them collected during my late twenties, when I was fascinated with early editions of “Excalibur”, “Ralph Snert”, and “Clint: The Hamster Triumphant”. In fact, I hadn’t read a comic in over 10 years, until my girlfriend gave me a copy of “The Watchmen” for my birthday in 2008.

So, if there is anybody out there that can provide a more well-thought-out perspective of Zach Snyder’s “The Watchmen”… that would be me. 🙂

So, what exactly are people most disappointed with after watching this movie.

There’s too much dialog:

Duh. This is a graphic novel, NOT a comic. Writers and artists choose this format because they have more to say than laying-out every frame with an action shot. The “Watchmen” graphic novel is more about the human condition and what REALLY makes a super-hero. It’s not about how many people’s heads get bashed-in (although there is certainly a LOT of that going on anyway).

The Comedian is an ass:

Yep. He’s one of the more realistic characters in the novel and the movie. He knows exactly what he’s doing and the silliness of the entire concept. He’s no hero, but very few people are stepping up to the plate, so the Comedian does what he does with very little remorse… until the very end. Excellent.

Too much glowing-blue penis:

The graphic novel only displayed Dr. Manhattan full-frontal when it was deemed appropriate. Following his nuclear accident, he never had a need for clothes and there was no need to portray him from the waist-up all the time. Get over it.

What happened to Dr. Manhattan’s corner?:

For the sake of brevity, the inhabitants of that city corner, along with the newspaper stand, were mostly cut. In fact, most of the action at that corner was left-out as well (except the brief bit with Rorschach), but those missing bits only served to show how well-intentioned (albeit cruel) we humans are.

What? No Giant Squid?:

People. Please. I never liked Dr. Manhattan’s reason for finally leaving Earth in the first place…now, since he’s framed for the destruction of many major cities (as opposed to a failed alien invasion by Giant Squid), his leaving makes more sense.

I thought Dr. Manhattan had already solved the energy crisis:

Again, if he had, then the ending wouldn’t make sense. Plus, the attempted (and designed to fail) murder of Ozymandias among the oil-hungry Automobile Industry honchos, only helped to further Mr. Snyder’s change in the plot. C’mon! Mr. Lee Iaccoca got a bullet through the head while Adrian Veidt danced around their soon-to-be corpses as the would-be assassin drove bullets through the air like sparklers. I knew I had paid good money for the flick after watching Adrian lay the smack-down on the assassin with a halogen lamp-post. Dang. It was like watching “The Matrix”. Wow.

Here’s what I really liked about the move:

Night Owl II:

Man. Not only did Patrick Wilson do a great job of portraying the 2nd Generation of Night Owl as a kick-ass technological wizard, but provided him with great depth as just a guy with normal guy issues: insecurity, combined with a desire to do what is right.


Jackie Haley should win a Oscar for this. Honestly. He single handedly brought forth a 2-Dimensional character into 3-Dimensional realm with all the gusto and feeling that Rorschach deserved. He never compromised. Never.

The Comedian:

Ever the unabashed realist and brute. Jeff Morgan did a wonderful job with this character. I can’t wait to see what he does next. Perhaps he could play Robert Downey’s father in the next installment of Iron Man. He sure looks the part and can certainly play the part of an ass-hole with both hands tied behind his back.

Silk Spectre 2:

Malin Akerman. Wow. Hot, insecure, and one heck of an ass-kicker. Enough said about her… for now.

Long Fight Sequences:

I’m a big fan of “V for Vendetta” and “300”, so it’s no wonder I enjoyed those long, drawn-out fight sequences. Well done.

The Plot:

Even with no Giant Telekinetic Squid, or the Tales of the Black Freighter (theatrical release), the plot is exceptionally thick… causing you to THINK while watching this movie. Well played!

If I were Roger Ebert, I would be giving this move “Two Thumbs WAY up!”

One thought on “Note to Watchmen Fanboys: Zach Snyder’s Watchmen does not suck.

  1. Very well thought-out. I agree about Jackie Earle Haley.

    But they didn’t show Bubastis enough. That’s one of my only complaints with Watchmen. I know she’s only at the end.

    Also, Silk Spectre I’s age makeup didn’t really didn’t it for me. Also, the actress used the same voice and physicality as a young women even though she had age makeup on.

    But I agree that this movie was awesome. I would see it again.

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